They just said on the radio that the recession may, in fact, be over. Hmmm. A quick look at my post recession bank account seems to indicate otherwise.
Really there is nothing like this daily, post-recession checking account viewing to humble a person (me) and make them (me again) face the dim light of reality. But perhaps there's a silver lining. Perhaps this staring into the financial abyss every day, can yield immense spiritual and psychological rewards? Right?
One thing for sure, it really has helped me to rid myself of extraneous pipe dreams, and by default (on my loans I mean) to become a more realistic, honest-with-myself type of human being. Here's two things I now know are never going to happen. And with each of these just think how much more of an honest, sober and self aware human being I will become:
The gas station in Medina Washington where I will not pump gas
waiting for a new car or a friendly hand-out from Bill Gates
1. I will never become the lucky recipient of Bill Gates' benign altruism. Okay there, I said it. As ridiculous as it may seem, I've been holding onto this as a remote sort of plan B for years. You know the urban myth of the kindly gas station attendant whose friendly smile earns him the the generosity of a dying millionaire? Kid wakes up one morning to find himself the heir to a vast fortune? Okay... I'm taking a deep breath... here it goes, I'm going to say it:
It ain't gonna happen.
As bad as things have gotten, I'm not moving to Medina Washington to pump gas on the outside shot that my smile will win me Gates beneficence. In short: Bill Gates is dead to me. He's never going to make me an heir, he's never going to give a new car, he's never going to acknowledge me in any way. Although, I suppose its possible he might flip a coin in my hat some day, as I play my harmonica for tips on a corner in downtown Medina.
2. This next one is tough. But its not so tough as looking at that savings account of mine. So I think I can do it. I mean I'm uniquely prepared by my financial situation to look honestly at my self... Here we go... Okay, to quote the famous choo choo train: "I think I can... I think I can..."
Sorry Scarlet, I'm over you
Scarlet, it's over between us. Yes I know it never really began. But I was quite confident over the years that you and I would some day make beautiful music together. Unless this is going to happen on a street corner in Medina Washington (and why not?) we're through. I know its nowhere near as difficult for you as it is for me. Nevertheless, I am a better man for honestly admitting that you are beyond my humble means. Goodbye. Good luck. Good riddance!
--With no small amount of bitterness about the way it all turned out
--Me
Anyway, now its time to reflect. To take a deep breath. To glory in my new found sense of honest reflection... and, beyond everything else, to log out and go get a job!
